The N-Word

The other day, one of my guy friends came to my room saying “Wassup’ nigga?” Now this is not the first time that this happened. That is his normal way of greeting me and my roommates. I personally do not appreciate being called a “nigga” but I never said anything to him about it. But this particular day I got extremely irritated because he said it several times while he was in the room. My friends noticed my frustration, so after he left we had a long discussion about the word. One of them asked me why did it bother me so much and I was puzzled as to why she asked me that then she went on to say “It’s not like he’s a white person and he called you a  nigger.” This incident sparked this post because I realized that different people look at this word differently and I wanted to share my perspective. 

A little disclaimer: I do not speak for all black people. This is just based on my personal opinion and my life experience.

If you are not a black person and use the n-word, regardless of the ending, whether it is “er” “a”, chances are you are going to face some sort of backlash. Usually, the excuses I’ve encountered on social media or real life starts with “the n-word is not really a racial slur, it doesn’t mean black people, it means stupid.” That is absolutely incorrect. 

The n-word comes from the Spanish and Portuguese word for black –“Negro”. So how do you take a completely benign word, the word for black and make it into a slur? 

You have to look at the word’s historical context. The n-word was used to describe black people as they were being stolen from Africa put into slavery, chained, lynched, raped, beaten, spit upon. The word was created as a tool of oppression. Its historical context cannot be erased. 

Who is allowed to say it? 

In reality, everyone is allowed to say whatever it is the want to say but there are always consequences for your words and your action. Depending on who you are, and where you are, there will be different consequences for what you say and do. This is not only related to the n-word; this is a regular occurrence. It is a matter of in groups and out groups’ dynamics. 

                                                                                                             When you are a member of certain groups, there are things that are totally okay and socially acceptable when you are in that group and for people outside the group, you give them the side eye and it’s just not okay. 




I’ve also encountered this common idea “If you guys don’t want people to say it, then you should stop saying it.”

Personally, I do not use the n-word. I’m also not going to begrudge anyone that use it because you can talk about yourself however you want to. There are some people that use the n-word as a way to reclaim it, almost like an act of defiance. 

The thing that bothers me the most is when people say that “It’s not fair. It’s a double standard that black people can use the n-word and everyone else can’t.” The reason why this bother me so much is because it is self-serving and disingenuous. These people do not care about fairness and the daily struggles of black people. If they did, they not be arguing over the use of the n-word. Instead, they would focus n real problems like job discrimination, racial profiling, police brutality, stop, and frisks, etc.. They would rather argue that it is not fair that there are social consequences for people who are not black and uses the n-word. Priorities. You have them. 

The n-word is not cool and we should never refer to one another using it. It does not matter whether it ends in an –a or an –er. If I could stop black people from using that word, I would but it’s not like we’re all tap into some hotline where I can call and make decisions about what we should all do. What I can do though is not use the word myself with the hope that my surroundings pick up on it and not use it themselves. 

#BlackLivesMatter

The deaths of Michael Brown, Eric Garner, Tamir Rice, Sandra Bland and too many others have sparked and operated a nationwide outrage that has brought the concern of the destruction of black bodies to more American living rooms than perhaps any time since the civil-rights movement. But while white Americans may be more attentive than ever of the central issues underlying the Black Lives Matter movement, many are still confused about what “black lives matter” actually means.


That misunderstanding often turns into resentment, much of which is a result of the movement. “So black lives matter and other lives don’t?!” a skeptical white person might ask, “That’s reverse racism! ALL lives matter!”

This way of thinking is extremely flawed and it shows an ultimate confusion of all things racial, a faux pas that is understandable when one makes especially if they grew up in a predominately white community without any black people to show them the view from the other side. Reverse racism for white people is basically the racist stuff that white people do to black people, except it is reversed. For example, if someone were to start a “White Lives Matter” movement, in my opinion, that would be labeled as racist. So isn’t Black Lives Matter racist, too? The answer is no, and that is because reverse racism is not a real thing. It does not exist.Black Lives Matters is not racist, but that does not mean that it is not exclusive. Certainly, it is not as inclusive as the #AllLivesMatter hashtag that is used by some to mock and challenge the Black Lives Matter movement. 

Why don’t people go around saying “White Lives Matter?” There’s only one reason for this. It is because we already know it. From the way they are portrayed on TV, to people’s reaction when a white life is taken away, it is evident that it matters… more than most. 
That is certainly not the case when it comes to black lives. When the life of a black person is taken away, it is ignored because of the assumption that they were involved in the “gangster” or “thug” life. Black people are also more likely to live in poverty, receive a poor education and go to jail. Alive or dead, black lives continue to be belittled compare to those of whites. 

President Obama took it upon himself to explain why “black lives matter” is an important statement. “I think the reason that the organizers used the phrase “black lives matter” was not because they were suggesting nobody else’s lives matter,” he said. “What they were suggesting was, there is a specific problem that is happening in the African-American community that’s not happening in other communities. And that is a legitimate issue that we’ve got to address.” 


Indeed, this is what the black lives movement is fighting. It is not here to undermine the lives of white people and say that their lives don't matter. Instead, the black lives matter movement is here to try to gain the same privileges of respect and dignity that many whites in the white community take advantage of. When a black person dies from poverty-related causes, the movement wants people to care. When a black person is unfairly gunned down in the street, it wants people to get angry. It literally just wants black lives to matter. That’s what it means. Nothing more.

So the next time you hear someone say that they are against the “Black Lives Matter” movement, do not be angry. Simply try to educate them on how the movement is only trying to point out that in order for all lives to matter, black lives have to matter too.

What It Means To Be a Black Woman

“I am a proud black woman” is a phrase that I often heard growing up. Whether it came from aunts or from my older cousins, I never understood the meaning behind these words. In my homeland Haiti, the word “black” has practically no meaning. After all, everyone in my family is black. So why did they take so much pride when saying this phrase? As I got older, I became accustomed to not only these words but the meaning behind them. 

One of the things I love about America is the diversity. The fact that there are so many kinds of people living with each other. Like a blend of different cultures. It gives me this superb, warm feeling. But then I abruptly recall that there is a hierarchy and at the very bottom of the list is not black people, but black women.

I have the uttermost respect for black women. Black women are not only faced with the problems of racism but also sexism. For some odd reason, the world wants to paint us in ugly insignias. On TV, they make us angry women, violent women, weak women. In music videos, our female stars feel the need to show as much skin as possible. It has become something normal and we expect it of them. I always wonder why the women who choose to play these roles are fine with it and I ask myself if they know it impacts all of us. If they realize that while they get money, we get insults flung at us from all directions.

On social media, I see that black women are being portrayed as sex toys and prostitutes. They are the women dancing around poles in music videos and twerking like there’s no tomorrow. We are always second-choice and we are not very appreciated. I spoke to a friend of mine on this topic of how black women are portrayed by the media and he said that he felt that ‘they are undervalued and underrepresented.

However, contrary to what the tabloids say, this is not what it means to be a black woman. It does not mean that we are only sexual beings or aggressive women. It means that we are strong and confident and we always stand up for what we believe in. We don’t let anyone walk over us like rugs. Despite discrimination against us, we make our voices heard.

We are different in a way that no one else is and that’s what makes us who we are. We have the ability to smile even when things are looking bad and we dare to hope. Our skin comes in different shades, like the way our personalities do. We are shrewd, elegant, and divergent. Our natural hair is shaped in such a way that it forms a halo around our faces and I take that as a sign. Some of us might be loud, chatty, tall, skinny, short whatever but we do have something in common. Our melanin. We should not be ashamed of our melanin or consider it a curse, instead, we should consider it one of the greatest gifts God has given us. Just because angels are painted white does not mean we are demonic creatures because we are black.

This Youtuber gave us 10 reasons on why she loves being a black woman. Take a look!

 Being a black woman means that we feel more than anyone else. We love more, we cry more, we laugh more. We are more. Just like our manes of untamable hair, we cannot be controlled by anyone. So the next time you hear someone say “I am a proud black woman”, I want you to understand that the meaning behind these six simple words is greater than one can imagine. 

Skin Bleaching & Colorism

Skin bleaching… What is it? Skin bleaching or skin whitening or skin lightening is the use of a chemical compound which removes some of the melanin from your skin. Melanin is that which gives you your color. For those with high concentration of melanin tend to have darker skin as those with less have lighter skin.

Society plays a role when it comes who is to blame for this practice. It is believed because of the socially and politically constructed notion that the fairer one’s skin is the more beautiful, intelligent and wealthy one is. Many advertisements show how people with clear skin and long hair are the benchmark when they talk about beauty. While most people believe the idea that only women bleach their skins, they are wrong; Men bleach their skin too.

Controversial Jamaican artist Vybz Kartel produced his own line of skin-bleaching products, saying in 2011: “When black women stop straightening their hair and wearing wigs and weaves when white women stop getting lip and butt injections and implants … then I'll stop using the 'cake soap' and we'll all live naturally ever after.” However in June 2013, he appears to have done an about face by encouraging youngsters to stop bleaching.

Colorism

Last weekend, I had the amazing opportunity to watch the documentary Dark Girls. This documentary sparked today’s topic.  Released in 2011 and directed by Bill Duke and D. Channsin Berry, Dark Girls explores the feelings, perceptions, and the reality of women throughout the world, particularly in which women suffer from prejudice due to the color of their skin. The documentary also places an emphasis on the emotional trauma women with darker skin tend to suffer from the colorism they face even within their own racial communities. It features men with pixelated faces trying and failing miserably to justify their own prejudices – "I just prefer light skin women". "Dark skinned women just look wrong next me" –to stories from African American women confessing black men would lust after them in private, but opt for a light skinned trophy to parade in public.

After watching the documentary, I took it upon myself to do some research on social media. I went on twitter and looked up “light skin” and “dark skin”. I was surprised by some of the tweets. Couple tweets stood out to me. One said: “Party on Friday. White Girls free. Light skin girls 5dollars. 50 dollars for dark skin girls.” Another: “I thought cute dark skin girls with long hair was a myth ... I feel like I seen big foot.”

As a woman of color, these tweets made me cringe. But it did not affect me as much as it affected others because over the years I have learned to love myself and the skin that I am in.
When it comes to skin bleaching or skin lightening, I understand why some people do it, but I do not support it. We need to learn to love ourselves just the way that we are. When you learn to love ourselves, we start to understand what makes us unique and different from others. Remove yourself from people that tell you that your skin color or your hair is not good enough. With skin bleaching, comes a lot of danger physically and spiritually. So sacrificing yourself in order to fit in with the norm of society is not worth the risk. Regardless of your skin color, you are beautiful.

Sometimes I wonder if people who bleach their skin ever think about what they will do when they have kids … Are they willing to sacrifice their kids’ skin in order to keep up with society? Just something to think about.

Do Not Appropriate, Rather Learn To Appreciate

According to Susan Scafidi, a law professor at Fordham University, cultural appropriation is “Taking intellectual property, traditional knowledge, cultural expressions, or artifacts from someone else's culture without permission. This can include unauthorized use of another culture's dance, dress, music, language, folklore, cuisine, traditional medicine, religious symbols, etc. It's most likely to be harmful when the source community is a minority group that has been oppressed or exploited in other ways or when the object of appropriation is particularly sensitive, e.g. sacred objects.” In today’s 

society, pieces of black culture are cut and commercialize for white consumption.

For today’s post, I will be focusing on when white folks appropriate – not because I think white people are the only ones capable of causing impairment, but because the United States is dominated by a system of white supremacy that gives white people institutional power over Black people.

There is a difference between appropriating and appreciating a culture.

If your intention is to appreciate the Black culture you should be open to learning about the history of what you are appreciating, and about the struggles and successes of the people you are borrowing from. Then you will be the kind of supporter who is knowledgeable enough to honor our culture in a way that supports us – instead of just taking the bits and pieces that you like and portray it in a way that is “appropriate”. This kind of action hurts our community.

Most white Americans would agree that the influence of black culture on America is significant. There would be no rock ‘n’ roll, Elvis or Jerry Lee without the black swing, blues, and jazz musicians. The impact is noticeable in all facet of American culture, from food to fashion, from literature to language. What most white Americans won’t agree with is that there is anything wrong with that. In fact, they would dispute that such accommodation of cultural influences has occurred with every immigrant group in America, whether Irish or Latino or Vietnamese. They would argue that it is an emblem of American inclusion that we so eagerly embrace these foreign influences into our culture. American culture is not appropriating anything—that would be stealing!—it’s honoring black culture through homage. America acknowledges the influence and gives the influencers full credit. And, after all, isn’t intertwining black culture into mainstream American culture the best way to end racism?

When blacks generate something that is later embraced by the white culture, white people tend to make a lot more money from it or is applaud for it. Undoubtedly, one can see why that is both infuriating and disheartening.  

Take for example when Kylie Jenner wore her hair in 'faux Locs'  Guiliana, a Fashion Police host said she looked 'edgy' but when biracial Zendaya wore her hair like this to the Oscars 'she smells like patchouli and weed'? Although Zendaya responded with the utmost class, this is just another example of white women being praised for the same styles black women are derided for.

Below is a video related to cultural appropriation that I found interesting and I'd like to share it with you guys.  

Whether we call it cultural appropriation, assimilation, exploitation, homage, plundering or honoring, it will continue to happen unabated or affected by complaints and protests. In a recent interview, Zendaya talked about the difference between cultural appropriation and cultural appreciation. What she said sums up the points that I was trying to make throughout this post. I am going to leave you all with some of Zendaya’s thoughts. “You can go about it as cultural appreciation or cultural appropriation. You have to be very careful. Some things are really sacred and important to other cultures, so you have to be aware, politically, about those things before you just adopt them…. I’m someone who feels uncomfortable with things unless I know [about them], I’m not going to try something unless I’ve taken the time and effort to learn about it. I just think with the Internet and the resources we have, you should do a little research." 

I hope that you understand my goal here is to inform you about the difference and not insult those who appreciate the black culture. 

Give Credits When It Is Due

Imagine yourself in a staff meeting with your manager and several coworkers, where you all are sharing and bouncing ideas off one another to find a solution to a specific problem in the workspace that you’re in. You remain silent, and ponder ideas on your own while your coworker sitting next to you obnoxiously yells out every idea that comes to mind, but none of them can help solve the problem. Now imagine being in your office speaking to a friend privately, about an idea that you believe would be the best solution for the company. Your loud and obnoxious coworker from earlier decides to eavesdrops outside your door, and when you’ve finished explain your idea, runs and tells your manager the perfect idea, claiming it as his or her own. That coworker is now promoted to a higher position because your idea worked so well, but you have not received any credit for it and he or she feels no sorrow.

How do you feel?

For generations, African-Americans have been treated this same exact way. New trends in hair, fashion, music, dancing and even body shapes have been profoundly influenced by the African-American culture, but the credit has not been given to the initiators.

To keep this post short, today I will be focusing on how the black culture have been ripped off of their hairstyles and techniques.

Style #1: Twist Out or a Rope Trick?

For those of you who don’t know, a twist out is when you put a whole bunch of two-strand twists throughout your hair(whether done on wet or dry hair), you let them air-dry, and then separate the twists and wear them out(as a twist-out).  Recently a non-black YouTuber by the name of Alexandra featured a hair tutorial on her page called “The Rope Trick”. The only problem is that her “rope trick” is literally the same thing as a twist out. In the video, Alexandra washes her hair, applies product and proceeds to two-strand twist her hair into small sections. She even flat twists the front (of course she doesn’t call it that.)

Some think the re-naming isn’t a big deal. Sort of like hair tie vs. ponytail holder. Others argue that black women with natural hair started the twist out trend and her “rope trick” idea isn’t original and should be called by its real name…a TWIST OUT.

The video below is by one of my favorite YouTuber demonstrating how she gets her perfect twist out

If you watch a twist out the tutorial by a natural YouTuber and adapt the technique for your own curls, that’s awesome! Glad it’s working for you. Shout out the natural hair community, or whoever you got the idea from, and keep it moving. And at the very least call the style what it is – a twist out.

Style #2: Mini-buns or Bantu knots?

Mane Addicts posted a tutorial, telling readers how to replicate what they called "twisted mini buns inspired by" Marc Jacobs' show.

Sorry to break it down to you Marc Jacobs, but those are called BANTU KNOTS

Bantu knots are said to have originated centuries ago with the Zulu tribes in southern Africa.

Style #3: Cornrows or Boxer Braids?

A mainstream outlet—MTV UK—tried it and felt the need to appropriate something that black people have been rocking for decades.

When black man and woman walk around with cornrows, people treat them differently implying that the hairstyle or the person is “ghetto”. But when a white person wears them, not only it is praised, but no credits are given to the black culture.

People need to learn how to pay homage and give credits when it’s due. African Americans struggle been through enough already and it saddens me to see that when a non-colored person does something that has already been done years ago by black people, they get worshipped for it. I’m not saying that other cultures should not exploit the black culture. I’m simply saying that the black culture should get the credits for what derived from it.